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Sunday April 18th 2021

( 7 ) Reborn at a Dead End

My situation was continually getting worse.  My mother tried her best to find a way out without giving up.  She consulted a medium about what happened to me.  The medium told us that I had offended an evil spirit and it was not a big problem.  She suggested to me to drink some tea made from joss stick ashes.  It did not work.

My mother also invited a monk from Tibet to my house. He said it was because of the bad Fung Shui in my house that caused the problem.  He touched my back with an unknown power. I could feel a great heat at my back.  He said that I would be all right.  But what was the outcome?

Then, we went to see the Bai Long Wang, a very well know man who is believed to have super strong spiritual power in Thailand.  He told us that there was “ a mother with a son “ following us all the way.  And at that moment, they were waiting for us at the entrance of his office.  I am not as silly as this to believe such ridiculous things. So I asked him why they did not get rid of us and when did they start to follow us?  He said, “It is not the time yet. They are “ evil spirits of trees “.  You need to avoid all kinds of plants.”  As there was no other solution, we followed his instructions. 

Later, he came to my house and conducted a ceremony for driving out the evil spirits.  They put Thai incantations on our door.  He insisted that I had to sit inside a circle built with candles and should not leave the circle.  I felt very uneasy and there was another power coming into my body, which was greater than the one inside me.  I could feel that the two powers were fighting.  I wanted to leave the circle but I did not.  I also saw that Bai Long Wang was very exhausted.  May be, he had already tried his best.

After that, not only was my situation not improved, strange things happened to me even more frequently.  One time, I was like a mad man running down from the 10th floor to the ground in our building within just a few seconds.  My family members were taking a lift trying to catch me but they were still not as fast as me.  Fortunately, they informed the security guard to catch me and I was therefore saved.   Another time, I held my mother’s neck and talked in an unknown language, which was not English or Chinese.  I did know that I did this to my mother until my family members told me.  It seemed that this was done by another person. 

Also, another time, I was with my friend at my place.  Then, we went out together.  When we were waiting for the lift, I got a phone call and I saw the number was my home number.  I told my friend that it was my family calling me so we headed back home.  When we opened the door, we found something very strange.  I started to realize that there should be no one at home ! We therefore ran away immediately.  Although it happened many years ago, I am sure my friend would still remember this.

My mother knew a Christian friend at her work place.  She knew my situation from my mother and desired to help me.  My mother had been worshiping idols and she offered me to a Chinese goddess, Guanyin (a Bodhisattva) since I was very young. Because there was no way to help me, inevitably, she had to try Christianity.  She talked to me about that many times but I refused.  One day, she invited her colleague and three other church friends to my home without informing me, so I had to give some response to them unwillingly.  I was not friendly to them at all and did not feel anything special when they sang worship songs.  They asked me to pray with them and I just followed.

But, unexpectedly, when I tried to follow them saying, “in Jesus’ name I pray”, I immediately felt a power inside me stopping me to talk.  I felt something was holding my neck not allowing me to talk.  I was suffering and said, “No! No! I am in much pain! Leave me alone!”  Then, I could not talk at all.  The church friends urged me to speak out “ in Jesus’ name “ and I tried my best to do so, and I made it.  After they left, I felt different powers inside me, making me sick.  I didn’t have any solution. 

I went on with my life without any direction.  One day, I was drunk and was taken home by my friends as usual.  Then, I was in bed.  Suddenly, “I” woke up and knocked my face against the table corner near my bed.  My hands hit on the mirror and broke it in pieces.  At that moment, my blood was everywhere.  My family reported that to the police.  My family members, the police and the nursing officers held on to “me”.  I was so strong that it was very difficult to stop me.  After much struggling, finally, they were able to tie my hands and feet up and send me to the hospital.  “I” was continually shouting and struggling for a while. 

Then, “ I “ calmed down and after a while, “I” started to talk to my brother, “Brother, why do you treat me like that? Why do you treat your brother in this way?  I am suffering!  Please help me and set me free!”  My brother looked at my eyes and listened to my voice tone.  He realized that “I” was not normal so he did not release me.  For a while, “I” started to shout loudly again.

Since I had a number of records for being hospitalized, my doctor suggested that after having had the operation, I should be sent to the ” sanatorium” again. But they could not force me to stay in there because I did not commit any crime.  My family did not allow me to be sent to there again, of course.

Then after a while, I truly calm down and fell into a deep sleep.  When I woke up, I felt extremely tried and strong pain with my hands.  My face was also very painful.  The only thing different was I realized that the evil power and the negative thoughts were not inside me anymore.  I felt deep peace  in my heart.

Then, a nurse told me that I was going to have an operation.  I asked, “What is the operation for?”  The nurse said, “Don’t you know that?”  I really didn’t know why I needed an operation.  The nurse told me that the operation was for rejoining my broken hand tendon.  I was afraid of what caused my broken hand tendon.  I did not know the reason until my family told me what happened!

You could not imagine how I could resist so many people with my broken hand tendon.  What was the power in control of me?  I and my family knew about that.  This evil power deceived my brother by pretending to be pitiful. 

I can tell you now that if it was not by God’s grace, I would have jumped out of the window and took my own life, and I would not be able to share with you about this witness anymore.

I was finally reborn again!!  During the days staying at home for recovery, God was with me every day.  The feeling of peace and security was so real.  It could not be described by any word.  After having received Jesus, I change a lot.  My stubborn personality and hot-temper was disappeared. 

I let go with my anger and bitterness.  My Lord helped me to think through.  I understand that if I am angry with every little thing, it will accumulate and become a huge hatred and bitterness inside my heart. That would break the peace in my soul and will damage my good nature.  Therefore, I need to accept and forgive people when things go wrong.  In this way, I will have fewer burdens in my life. 

On the other hand, when our enemies are in failure and unable to regain their glory in the past, they have distresses in their heart.  They would have no confidence.  If at the same time, they need to face those people they hurt before, it is not easy.  When I try to stand in their shoes, I can let go of my anger and hatred.

Regarding my brother, before I thought that there would be no chance to rebuild our brotherhood relationship.  Now, when I think from another angle, I can understand that he might not be aware of what he said to me was hurting me.  In our life, many people are not aware that they are hurting other people with their words, including myself.  I am also thankful that it was because of my brother, I could get away from the ” sanatorium”.

My family also found that I am happier after I have received Jesus.  I am also more forward looking with a clearer direction.  

Heads up for next chapter:  We need to put effort towards preserving the peace and security given by God.  My job caused me going to church less and less.  After having a spree, I was roused suddenly from sleep on the plane.  What happened to me was even more terrible than before!  Next Chapter (8): Going Astray

Mr. Ice Cream

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