Elim Youth Space Digital Make Up Class
Come and learn how to use Photoshop to edit photos.
Date : 3 March
Time : 7:00 PM
Venue : Elim Church, Shatin
Enquiry & Application : Steven Ng
Lamma Island Fun Day
The warm weather on 26Feb was a blessing to everyone of us. We booked a boat and went to Lamma Island on that day. Stopped at seafood restaurant for lunch first, then walked up the hills and treasure hunt for Bible scriptures ! Special thanks to Activities Team for their arrangement ! More photos will be posted in ” Photo Gallery “.
(11) The Doctor
Who spoke first? It’s Him!
I have tried hypnotherapy several times. I had some improvement but still felt unwell and breathless sometimes. The good side was at least I could take MTR and go where I wanted to go. However, a brother from church told me not to continue with this therapy. I felt difficult to make the decision to quit, since it had helped me to gain some improvement. If I had to quit, what other therapies should I pursue afterwards? I also didn’t know how to explain to the therapist.
To my big surprise, my therapist said to me during the next visit,
“ I do not know how I can continue to help you. I have tried many different ways trying to find out the “ friend” who was buried deeply in your heart. But I couldn’t find it and it is just still hiding. “
So I could continue to say,
“ yes, I can understand. May be I need to try other therapies…… “
I believed this is God’s arrangement which made it easier for me to quit.
I am very thankful to this therapist. I appreciated her a lot for helping me, not out of money. We are still friends now and we will catch up with each other from time to time via email.
Medication isn’t Always Bad
Later, I went to a doctor who was recommended by the brother in my church. He said that she was very experienced in handling emotional illness.
She was a very sincere and friendly doctor. She asked me,
“How are you? What can I do to help you? “
“ I almost cannot breath all the time. I had body check already and nothing wrong could be found. I came here because my brother said that you might be able to help me. But please, I will not take any medication… “
“From your insistence not to take medication, it is clear to me that you know quite well about them… “
She said very gently,
“ Do you know your situation is very bad now? Not to say what you want to do in the future, I can see that you have lost the ability to even take care of your daily life now. I learnt from your brother that you have lots of problems. But what I can see now is, your problems have already affected your physical health seriously. Therefore, certain kind of medication is needed for you, at least, to deal with the trouble in front of us now. “
I was moved. So I agreed to try medication again. In this first meeting, she spent most of the time in understanding my history. As long as I left her clinic, I took the medicine right away at the lobby of the building. Of course, I was very familiar with these various kinds of pills. The dosage she gave was much less than before.
But very surprisingly, I started to feel different within just 10 minutes. I felt I had regained some power to continue my life, and could take the MTR to where I wanted! I thought this must be a sign from God that I had found the right doctor!
Guess how I felt at this moment. Should I be happy? No, not at all. I thought, “ Oh! Medication again! “ My experience told me these medications would not be effective for long. I might need to take heavier and heavier dosage eventually. That was why I was so reluctant towards taking medication.
During our second meeting, the doctor said,
” You are really special and I am very happy to know you. The thing I don’t understand is, how could you stop all medication at one time, given that your dosage by that time was so heavy ? I really don’t understand how you could resist the pain caused by the withdrawal effect! “
I just said to her, “ It was with the power of Jesus! “
No More Rejection
She also played some games with me, which led me to express the “friend “which was with me all the time.
“ I can understand that your life is very hard. But you have to remember, you are not the only one who has this problem. You are not alone. “ This was what she told me.
“ Some negative emotions can be signs from our hearts, telling us that there are things that we need to deal with. May be it is telling us to take a rest, or may be to face something we always try to avoid. “
“ I will be caught within bad emotions sometimes too. I will relax myself, adjust the gray colour inside my heart and turn it into some brighter colours, and hold on to a secure feeling to live every moment in my life. “
In another meeting, she said, “your situation is much better than before. How are you feeling now? Can you accept that you are ill? “ “ I don’t really mind that I am sick, only if we can insist not to increase the dosage, then that will be fine with me.”
Put it Aside to Discover More
Our conversation would not touch directly on my friend. Instead, we talked a lot about other things. I discovered that if we try to think from another angle, things could be very different. I learnt not to think or guess too much about the outcomes, but to try things out and see what the outcomes actually are.
I also learnt more about inter personal relationship. As for myself, I have learnt not to put too much of my attention on other people or on my work. Instead, I have learnt to treat myself well.
I am still seeing this doctor now. Thank God that I had really learnt a lot through meeting with her.
Everytime when she saw me, she would say, “Are you ready? “
And I would say, “ Not yet! “
What were we talking about then? As she could see that I am recovering very well, she recommended me to reduce the dosage of the medicine I am taking. But I am not ready for this yet.
What I could gain from this doctor was all blessings from God.
Next chapter. Who is my friend? Can I get rid of it? Is this the end of the story? Why do I have to give this testimony?
Next Chapter: Seize the Day!
Mr. Ice Cream
Elim Youth Space Music Productions Seminar
Want to produce your own CD or learn more about music productions ? This seminar will introduce the basic concepts to you.
Date : 12th March 2011
Time : 8:00-9:30pm
Venue : Elim Church, Shatin
Enquiry & Application : Steven Ng
Elim Youth Space ( Bass & Drum )
Come and learn to play bass and drum at Elim Youth Space.
Date : 12 Feb, 19 Feb, 26 Feb ( Saturdays )
Venue : Elim Church, Shatin
Enquiry : Steven
(10) The Maze
How does it feel if you are living in a maze? I was wandering every day. But I did not want this situation to continue. I wanted to do something. I would try anything which some people said might work. I could not see any future. I thought I should do what I wanted to do as quickly as possible.
Terror Attack, Anytime, Anywhere
So I went on a trip with my family. Under the quiet and beautiful sea, I was very happy diving there.
But suddenly, an idea came into my mind. “ What if I could not breath now, will I just die here in the middle of the sea? “ The panic attack just hit me within one second. I was thrown into fear. I was very far away from the shore, having panic attack in the middle of the sea.
The only thing I could do was to cry out to God in my heart. I struggled and struggled and finally reached the shore.
A few months later when I was at work, I felt very anxious. So I called the brother to pray with me over the phone. After a while, I started to feel very difficult to breath. I almost suffocated and I resorted to ask my colleague to send me to the hospital.
In the emergency room, I was very painful. I could hardly breath. My legs and arms could not move at all. I could feel nothing at all. I could not open my mouth nor speak.
I cried out to God in my heart. I thought, “ may be this is the time that I had to leave “. I could do nothing but quietly wait for God to receive my soul.
A scripture was repeating in my mind over and over again, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.”
My eyes started to close. It would be over very soon, everything would be over very soon ….
After a while, I found I was awake! I was still alive! I was not dead!
What the doctor explained was “ stress “ and told me to relax. However, this breathless feeling had never leave me. It was with me all the time.
Later, I was diagnosed with claustrophobia. One time when I was travelling on the MTR, the phobia attacked me. I was so panic that I had to leave the MTR to get some fresh air otherwise I might suffocate again. I could only travel by taxi for the rest of the journey!
I could not get into the elevator also. I had to struggle many times before I could go into it. But when the door was about to close, I was so panic that I jumped out again.
The Maze in the Death Valley
This situation get worst and worst. Not to say to travel on any vehicle, I actually could not find the courage to leave home. I could not go to work. I felt very difficult to breath even when I was at home. I had a thorough body check but nothing was wrong with my body physically.
What else could I do? It was impossible to endure such a life anymore. If there could be any means, which might give me some little hope of improvement, I would try.
When I look back now, I can see that I have tried something which did not worth trying. But at that time, I told myself that I must not give up. Why?
Firstly, I want my family to believe in Jesus too. Secondly, I am a Christian and I know that Christian should not suicide. Thirdly, I believed that there must be some reasons why God still has not taken my life. There must be something that He wants me to do.
I share this with you because I want you to know that you are not alone. In the darkest moments of our lives, no matter how hard we tried, there seems to be no solution at all. But, only if you do not give up, you will finally find a way out.
Driving out Evil Spirit, Nutritional Therapy, Hypnotherapy
It was God’s arrangement that I could meet a Christian lady who taught other Christians to drive out evil spirits. When she met with me, she said,
“ I believe this is God’s arrangement that I can meet you here today. Normally I will not meet with clients directly and I am not in Hong Kong for the most of my time. I am here because I need to attend a funeral. After the funeral I have to fly back immediately. I asked God if I should meet with you. And He told me to do so…. “
She prayed with me and immediately I vomited some liquid. She reminded me to remember some Bible scriptures. She told me whenever I feel wrong, I should use these scriptures to resist the devil. I believed that with God’s power, she could help me drive out all evil spirits. However, “ my friend “ was still affecting me from time to time, making me difficult to breath.
I was very confused. I could not distinguish whether it was the evil spirit, which made me ill, or I was actually emotionally ill myself.
A sister recommended a nutritional therapist to me. Since I had no other choice, I went and tried. The doctor used various kinds of vitamins to help his patients. He said my problem was caused by the accumulation of poisonous substances (such as heavy metal absorbed from polluted food) inside my body. The charges were very high. Later, however, I found that the doctor used the same therapy for all different kinds of patients. No matter if they were suffering from cancer, mental illness, or mentally retarded. He always recommended me to try other detoxification methods which were very expensive, and any ordinary people would find it impossible to afford in a long run. However, what he said to me was, “ What is more important? Your money or your body? “ I said to myself, “ Shall I trust this doctor? “ And I didn’t go there anymore.
I found out from the web that hypnotherapy might help. And I tried too. This helped me to relax and I felt comfortable after a few times.
The therapist wanted to help me to find out who “ my friend” was. She was very sincere and what she did for me was not for money. She even charged me less.
In one of those therapies, when I was “ asleep”, I met my grandparents, who passed away many years ago. They were smiling at me with a very peaceful smile. They said to me, “ yes, you are a good boy. We know that you have tried very hard. Hang on and do not give up. We fully understand. “ I was very touched and I cried and cried.
However, a brother told me that Christians should not try such therapy. Because the evil spirits could enter you when you were in a total relax condition.
I struggled very hard on this issue because I thought this therapy was helping me. How could I explain to the therapist that I would not come again?
Next chapter: I was thinking about how to explain to my therapist that I would not come again. But what she said gave me big surprise. I understood that this is God’s arrangement. The brother recommended me to another doctor. This doctor led me into another stage, and helped me to find out who “ my friend “ was……
Chapter 11 The Doctor
Mr. Ice Cream
Evangelical Cantonese Opera Vocal Training
Many elderly people in Hong Kong love Cantonese opera. This is an effective way to build rapport with them. Penny is going to host a vocal training class in Cantonese opera style.
Date : 13th, 20th, 27th Feburary & 13th, 27th March
Time : 2:00-3:30pm
Venue : Elim Church
Materials Costs : $ 20
Enquiry and application : Penny
Elim Photo Shoot Competition Winners
Animals – By Cora
Mission – By Cora
Scenery – By Esther
Church Life – Christina
People – Christina
Elim Asia Team – India
Our kids in one of our churches in India worshipping the Lord. More pictures of this Asia Team have been posted on ” Photo Gallery “. Take a look at the photos now and enjoy !
( 9 ) The Spiritual Battle
Days without Soul
After the emotional breakdown on the flight, I started to live my life without soul. Day after day, this was really horrible. I did not want to consult psychiatrist anymore. I knew very clearly that the medication could only suppress those negative thoughts but could not really help me.
I told myself, I needed to do what I should do, because may be I would have no more chance to do them anymore. This included going to a trip with my family and to get marry. I hoped we could have an unforgettable wedding so I could leave some good memories to my loved one if I would die someday.
Coming back to Church
I went back to church again. But it was not as easy as before.
During praise and worship time, I could not have the peace and joy which I experienced before. Instead, I felt very uncomfortable. I could feel some pressure in my heart, and even my stomach didn’t feel well.
In this period, I could feel the Lord’s spirit was with me, but not as often as before. Sometimes, no matter how hard I cried, it seemed that I could not find him anywhere.
One time, I was in a meeting with our pastor and some other brothers and sisters. The pastor asked me to read out the Bible scriptures and replace the “ I “ in the scriptures with my own name. I felt a bit difficult and uneasy when doing this. During the worship time, it seemed that there was a big wall pressing on my heart, blocking the peace from the Lord.
Sunday service was different too.
Sometimes I felt very uneasy when listening to the sermon. It seemed that the Word of the Lord couldn’t get in my ears and my heart.
One time, the sermon was about the ending of the “ evil one “. I was listening and was feeling very uncomfortable all the way. It seemed that there was a fire burning in my heart. It was almost unbearable that I had to leave the auditorium for a while.
After the service, the pastor said to me, “ I know that you are very uncomfortable. I was watching you all the time during the sermon. But I still need to deliver this message. This message is not for you, but for the evil one inside you. I have to let it know its ending. “
Sudden Attack
In one of the cell group meetings, this uneasy feeling was very strong. I told the brothers and sisters that I was very uncomfortable and they prayed for me.
Suddenly, my arms and legs could not move at all, then the whole body could not move also. I could only tell them “ my whole body was in pain. “ They continued to pray for me. And then a brother gave me a glass of water mixed with salt and told me to drink it. All the other people were praying for me. After sometime, I was relieved.
Don’t Fight the Battle Alone
A brother proposed to pray regularly with me. He thought there must be something wrong. This brother also taught me, the Bible tells us not to stop coming to meetings. Since I didn’t go to church for a long time already, opportunity was opened for the devil to attack me again.
He also explained to me about a story in the Bible. Jesus healed a man and the evil spirit left him. But he didn’t follow Jesus all the time. Then the devil came back and brought more other evil spirits to live inside that man. The situation of that man was therefore worse than before. So, my situation could be worse than before!
However, one thing comforted my heart all the time was, all the brothers and sisters prayed with me every time after the meetings, asking the spirit of the Lord to stay with me.
One time, when we were praying, the brother asked me to think back the time when I was in Japan, playing those horrible games. A dirty spirit appeared in my mind. I was very afraid. It was very dirty and evil. It was an object with lots of dirty mud flowing down.
My brother said to me, “ I can feel that you can see something very dirty. You don’t have to say anything now. You don’t need to be afraid. “ Then, this brother ordered this evil spirit to leave my body in Jesus’ name. It disappeared.
I could not deny that Jesus is real!
One time when we were praying, some words appeared in my heart. I was astonished that these words came out from the mouth of another brother. Could it be possible that this brother could read my mind? Of course not. It was the Lord speaking to us at the same time!
Every time when I prayed with that brother, I could receive words from the Lord.
One time, when we were praying, I could see that I was trapped in a cage. A tiger was watching me from outside, seemed that it would attack me or kill me anytime. But the Lord taught me to see from a different point of view. I could feel that the Lord told me to step back and back and then look again. I was very surprised, the one who was trapped behind the iron bars was not me, but the tiger instead!
The brothers and sisters continued to pray for me, hoping to break that wall inside my heart. We spent a lot of a time praying for this many times but still the wall could not be broken.
My pastor said to me, “ It is okay even if the wall cannot be broken now. You have to remember that you are not alone, with the power of Jesus and the power of the church, it will be broken someday! “
Another time, the brother took me to a Christian organization specializes in praying for healing. The staff there prayed for me and found that I had a “ spirit of abandonment” inside of me, meaning that I was very afraid of being left alone by my loved ones. I could not agree with them. I did not think that this is my character and my family loves me all the time. I kept on asking for the reason. The staff explained that it could be “ inherited “. I was very lost about this. When I got home, I kept asking my parents about this.
That day, I felt that my life was like a movie. I was already more than twenty years old, and I didn’t know that my father was actually adopted ! That means, my grandparents, who loved me so much, were not my real grandparents ! I deeply appreciated my grandparents for loving me so much. God’s power is really amazing!
Don’t Ask Again, but Look unto God
The brother had prayed with me for more than 10 times. Every time when he prayed with me, I could feel the peace.
However, when I was by myself, the anxiety came back again. I really could not distinguish whether it was because of the evil spirit or because of the “ friend “ who was with me since I was very young.
I actually gave up asking about this. There was no use keep on asking anyway. I always asked God, why did it have to happen to me. Is it said in the Bible that “ No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear “? I said to God very often that this is almost beyond my ability. But I could not get any answer from Him by that time.
The brother encouraged me from time to time, telling me no matter how difficult the situation was, I had to hang on, and God had His purpose for me. I totally understood what the brother said. However, my situation was really bad. Can you imagine how does it feel if you will be attacked any time, anywhere, and no matter what you are doing ? I really didn’t know how long I could endure!
The idea of taking my own life came again. However, I could not do this. Because I was a Christian already. I knew that Christian should not commit suicide. I could not live any longer, but at the same time, I could not choose to die.
Some other believers from other churches also joined in and prayed for me. A preacher from another church prayed for me. He said it should not be mental problems. He told me to have faith in God and remember these scriptures all the time. It was Psalm 121:
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains, where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip, he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you, the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm, he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going, both now and forevermore. “
From then on, whenever I felt something wrong, I used these scriptures to resist. It was very hard to live on like this.
Next chapter: The day when we all went for a trip came. Could this help me relax? I was admitted to the emergency room again, facing death. How did I feel when I was very close to death? I could be able to see an experienced Christian lady who prayed for me as well. I kept on trying some other therapies too. I was in a maze….
Next chapter: The Maze
Mr. Ice Cream